Tag Archives: beauty

Real Woman

So, I’ve had enough. I’m so tired of hearing about how ‘real women’ look.  As if ‘real women’ is the end all be all to what beautiful is.  The straw that broke this camel’s back was this:

Is cheerleader too chunky?

Now, I’ve seen this posted ad nauseum across the internet.  Facebook pages, blog sites, twitter etc.  And time and time again comments such as,

  • “I like to see women with built  not skin an bone  that look is a turn off”
  • “Looks a hell of a lot better than a skinny girl. Don’t Forget Real men like Meat, while dogs like bones !!!!!”
  • “chunky is the new skinny”
  • “Maybe they aren’t used to seeing real women?”

Of course this is in direct contrast to the reaction to actual heavier women.  Where they are labled disgusting, and undesirable, called pigs, whales, cows.  And once again, women who are naturally extraordinarily thin who are told to ‘eat a sandwich’ or ‘try some dessert’ called sickly, gross and ‘not a real woman’.

So here’s the news flash.  Was she born with a vagina?  She’s a real woman.  That’s the only qualification necessary.  An inny.  That’s it!

Real women are tall, are short and are of average height.  They have big boobs, small boobs and no boobs.  They’ve had children, the don’t want children and they are still children themselves.

They have cellulite, stretch marks and an overbite.  Or maybe they don’t.  They have visible scars and invisible ones.  They have long hair, short hair and no hair.

They wear size 0 and size 28.  They love men.  They love women.  They’re indifferent to both.  They have unwanted hair growing in embarrassing places.   They have straight teeth, crooked teeth and no teeth at all.

They have flawless skin and they have acne.  They have pale skin, dark skin, freckled skin, mottled skin, scaly skin, marked skin and saggy skin.

They have bags under their eyes, sags in their belly and a droop in their ass.  They have toned thighs and flabby upper arms.

They have ugly toes, and manicured fingers.  They struggle with their self worth and self esteem.  All of them.   And they are all beautiful in their flaws because true beauty cannot be captured with a camera or caught in the reflection of a mirror.  It can’t be defined by People Magazine, or the red carpet in Hollywood.

Beauty is not measured by inches and pounds, it is not marked by flawless skin and perfect teeth.  It can only be measured by compassion and selflessness.  Who she is when she thinks you’re not looking is what makes her a beautiful woman.  Having a vagina is what makes her a real one.

And with that, this woman is out.



Beauty is more than skin deep

Lisa Khoury, Asst Editor of The Spectrum points her finger in the eye of tattooed women.  Ladies, we lack elegance and class.  Her story is in italics.  My take follows.

I get it. It’s the 21st century. You’re cool, you’re rebellious, you’re cutting edge, you have a point to prove, and you’re a woman. Awesome.

Ladies, I know you’re at least at the legal age of making your own decisions, but before you decide to get a tattoo, allow me to let you in on a little secret. A secret you may have not fully realized yet thus far in your life. What you must understand is, as women, we are – naturally – beautiful creatures.

Seriously, though. Your body literally has the ability to turn heads. Guys drool over us. We hold some serious power in our hands, because – as corny as this sounds – we hold the world’s beauty.

But something girls seem to forget nowadays, or maybe have not been taught, is that women hold the world’s class and elegance in their hands, as well. So what’s more attractive than a girl with a nice body? I’ll tell you what: a girl with class. Looks may not last, but class does. And so do tattoos.

An elegant woman does not vandalize the temple she has been blessed with as her body. She appreciates it. She flaunts it. She’s not happy with it? She goes to the gym. She dresses it up in lavish, fun, trendy clothes, enjoying trips to the mall with her girlfriends. She accentuates her legs with high heels. She gets her nails done. She enjoys the finer things in life, all with the body she was blessed with.

But marking it up with ink? That’s just not necessary.

I’m not here to say a girl should walk around flaunting her body like it’s her job – that’s just degrading. Instead of getting a tattoo, a more productive use of your time would be improving and appreciating the body you have been given, not permanently engraving it.

Can you get meaning out of a tattoo? Arguably. If you want to insert ink into your skin as a symbol for something greater than yourself, then maybe you are proving a point to yourself or the rest of the world.

But at the end of the day, are you really a happier person? Has this tattoo, for instance, caused you to learn something new about yourself? Has it challenged you? Has it led you to self-growth? Nothing comes out of getting a tattoo. You get a tattoo, and that’s it. You do something productive, though, and you see results. That’s a genuine, satisfying change in life. Not ink.

Invest your time, money, and effort into a gym membership, or yoga classes, or new clothes, or experimenting with different hairstyles if you’re craving something new with your body, not a tattoo.

I promise, it will be a much more rewarding experience, and you won’t find yourself in a rut when your future grandkids ask you what’s up with the angel wings on your upper back as you’re in the middle of giving them a life lesson on the importance of values and morals.

God knows the last thing this world needs is another generation of kids questioning their basic values and morals.

While I clearly disagree with her opinion, I respect her right to share it.  I take issue however, with her condescending tone and holier than thou attitude.

Yes, women are beautiful.  Our bodies are curved and delicate yet incredibly strong.  Many of us have the ability to give and sustain life should we so choose, and that is both miraculous and beautiful.  To me.

Her article is written in a chiding tone and directed at silly little children who don’t yet know what is best for them.  I’m 32, and my body is not a temple, and I have never once vandalized it.  My life, my body is a work of art in the making.  I will decorate and enrich it in any way I so choose, and in doing so I make it more beautiful to me.

You see, as a strong level-headed free thinking woman, I don’t care what society tells me I should be doing, and I certainly don’t subscribe to the ideals of that young woman and her idealistic view on beauty.

I frequently change my hair, my style, my make up. I wear bold prints and feathers and have more shoes than I care to count.  I do enjoy shopping and I’m also tattooed.  And none of that defines me.

One other tattoo is not pictured, I’m beautiful and Im not finished yet.

The mere idea that whether we as women, as people  can be judged and quantified by what we choose to mark on our bodies – or not is absolutely ludicrous.

I am so much more than a nice manicure, cute pair of shoes or pretty hair cut.  I am a fighter, an advocate, and a fiercely loyal friend.  I judge no book by its cover, I encourage my child to be open and honest and to express herself in any way which makes her feel beautiful.

I believe beauty comes in many shapes and sizes, and I believe that we should be supporting our fellow woman, and cheering her on for being the unique individual that she wants to be.

If that means she likes to spend her own hard-earned money on decorating her canvas, not temple as she deems fit, then I say champion her.

I will not subscribe to, or encourage a woman to feel she needs to fit into some preconceived box in order to be beautiful. Beauty is more than just skin deep.

This Lisa Khoury, means I will always have more class and elegance than you.




I encourage you all to email Lisa at lisa.khoury@ubspectrum.com with your art and your thoughts.