I wear helmets and seatbelts but that won’t help me when inevitably, a meteorite crashes into my house killing me instantly.

Notable: This post contains more coarse language than what is standard.  Do not be fooled, the blog has not been hijacked by sailors, I’ve just discovered pee in my cornflakes.  Read on!


Life is funny.  Sometimes in a side splitting, knee slapping, life fearing, holy shit I’m going to pee myself RIGHT NOW type of way, and others in the more traditional I just broke my fucking funny bone way.

Regardless of how it unfolds, there is a constant truth that plays out.  No matter how prepared you think you are, you are never ready for the curves life throws.  Never.  They don’t teach you what you really need to know, and they can’t because life is a funny bitch.

My life is so unbelievably different from a short 21 days ago that I can barely grasp my bearings, but you buckle up, get back in the saddle etc etc and you ride on.  Chin up, dust off and come back swinging.  Thrust up your middle finger, toss your hair and remind the world that your kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness.  You will in fact cut a bitch.

Taking the bull by the horns so to speak and just re-channeling energy.  Notable events:

May 27th: Air Force 10K – My first ever run.  I’m gonna shake my tail feathers in fabulous fashion.  Get fit.

June 17th: 1/2 Marathon: I’m scared to death.  My training has been nonexistent for 3 weeks.  I need to get moving or I will die.  DIE.  Like dead, and rotting.  Worm food.  So gross.

August 17th: Sky diving. Extra Elevation! 11,000 feet meaning a 45 second free fall.  holyshitwhatthehell.  Want to join me?  Either party in the drop zone bbq area or strap yourself to a virtual stranger and jump!  Let me know, it will be LIFE.CHANGING.

August 18th: Dirty Donkey 5K Mud Run and Obstacle course.  Hit shit. Get fit.  I don’t even know what to say about this except for I must be on drugs.  Their work outs are psychotic and they do these things called CHURPIES FOR FUN.  So essentially, it’s a burpee that leads to a chin up that finishes in a toe touch AND WHO DOES THAT?

Join my team! MuddFlappers!

So tell me, how do you deal with adversity, and won’t you get fit with me?  Also, I make great waffles, so we can just fuck this fitness stuff and CARB LOAD.


About MsBehavior

I’m a vintage loving, suburban living, book collecting, kitchen destroying, thrifting ninja, single mama of a smart, salty, sassy teenager. Unicorn aficionado. Flamingo enthusiast. Love all things sparkly. Connoisseur of foul language. Insufferable do-gooder. Big mouth. Bigger heart. Biggest backside. Begrudging romantic. Will blog and tweet for money. I make things. You can buy those things. Hey man, I’ve got bills. View all posts by MsBehavior

4 responses to “I wear helmets and seatbelts but that won’t help me when inevitably, a meteorite crashes into my house killing me instantly.

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