I liked you better before I knew you so well

Abrasive.  That’s the word I’ve often heard used to describe me when I refuse to back down.

Once upon a time, I may have taken offense to that, but I’ve learned to embrace it as it’s all about perception.  While they may perceive me to be overly aggressive, I see it as determination and an iron will.

An interesting point to note is many of those who have described me as abrasive have also called upon me to advocate on their behalf.  It would appear I’m only overly aggressive if I’m not currently working in your favor.

I used to have this ridiculously naive view that it was important to please all people at all times, consistently ignoring what was going to please me.

I have become what some people would term a ball buster.  I blaze paths and burn bridges and I am ok with that.  I am fully equipped to build new bridges, and have learned that looking forward is the direction I should be facing.

I watched a group of people try for years to raise enough funds to build a play structure.  5 years, they worked at it with little to no successes.  I swept in, took the reigns and within 7 months we had raised 85K dollars and had the structure built.   I had haters, and people trashing my approach, and I am entirely unapologetic about how it was done.

We raked in $13,000 in one day.  Hate on that.

My determination has seen me lead a group of people to raise $16,000 in under 3 months for CancerCare.

I’ve had articles written about me, and I’ve been the subject of a member’s statement during the Legislative Assembly of Manitoba.

Am I bragging?  No.  I’m stating facts.

I have a burning desire to implement change, and have no doubt that my balls out attitude and ability to work and lead people will eventually make waves.  Where?  That, I just don’t know yet.

Last week, Charlene Charlotte (really? no one caught that? – hello auto complete) @charmacc for you tweeps (an amazing woman I’ve never met) sent me this book by Kelly Cutrone: If you have to cry go outside: And other things your mother never told you.  Talk about an eye.opening. read.  Page after page just resonated with my very core, and I don’t think I’ll ever be quite the same having read it

I’ve learned over the years that I don’t make friends easily, but I’m fiercely loyal and if you’re in my inner circle, you’re most likely in for life.

I don’t suffer fools, I have no time for bullshit, and I cannot handle people who refuse to fulfill their end of a commitment.  I understand life happens, and if you can’t uphold your end of the bargain that’s fine.  But don’t duck your responsibilities in the hopes it will go away.  I have no time for that.   It’s an insult to those who are struggling to carry the balance.

I will move heaven and earth for my friends and there is nothing I won’t do, and I will not hesitate to do it for you, but I will not continue to give freely of myself to someone who who takes and takes and takes without the understanding on how to give.

So to those of you who are new, this is me.  To a degree.

Welcome to the jungle, baby.