So, I caved. I’ve been avoiding all the Twilight hype like the plague. Haven’t read a single page of any one of the books, watched a snippet of a movie, no trailers, not interviews no nothing. (Interview with a Vampire? Ha!)
Until today, I was unaware the this “Edward” even had a real name. I didn’t care. The name Robert Pattinson meant nothing to me.
Now, my daughter has recently jumped on this bandwagon. She’s read the first book, has started on the second, has been brow beating me into submission to get the movie.
I’ve mocked and ridiculed these Vampirites. These fang wearing fan clubbers. I rolled my eyes at all their facebook quizzes, action figures and conversations about how Edward is truly the one.
So tonight, I entered the world of Edward and Bella. And promptly fell in love.
I don’t think you understand the ramifications here. I’m a GROWN WOMAN for chrissakes. He is 23. And a fictional character. A VAMPIRE fictional character. But I’m pining.
Firstly, his hair. What in the hell is up with that hot mess? But I find myself WANTING TO RUN MY HANDS THROUGH IT. That is craziness at it’s finest.
Shall we discuss his peepers? They are creepy. Flat out chill you to the bone psychotic. BUT THEY MELT ME AND I WANT TO GET LOST IN THEM.
Did I mention he’s 23? That puts me in predator territory. And I’m not hatin’ it. In fact, it’s exhilirating.
I mean, I thought I’d run out of room in my life for imaginary boyfriends, but now I’ve got a vampire jockeying for position with a pirate.
Yea, that’s right. Captain Jack Sparrow and Edward are fighting to the death for my affection. And I’m okay with that. I find it normal.
What isn’t normal, is the tiger beat poster taped to my bedroom mirror.
Smitten kitten. Oh Edward.