State of Grace

“…I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone, from the beginning to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth, and spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years…”

The way we live our lives creates a ripple effect, like a stone cast into a pond, and we are so often unaware of the reach our decisions have, or the impact they will make on others.

We so often take for granted our good health, our homes, our jobs and family.  We wish away the dishes, the teething, the laundry, the terrible twos, the troublesome teens without giving thought to how we are blessed with the opportunity to experience them.

Every trial, every tribulation is another opportunity to appreciate that we are alive and well enough to experience it.  Suffering of course, is a matter of perspective, but no one has ever put my life into perspective quite like Susan Niebur, or how I came to know her: @whymommy.

I don’t remember how I stumbled across her blog, or her twitter account, I just know that I am forever changed because I did.  She is a woman about my age, a mother, a friend, a blogger, a 4 time cancer survivor, a wife, an astrophysicist and perhaps one of the most exceptional people I’ve ever crossed paths with.

Since her original diagnosis, Susan has blogged her way into the hearts and lives of countless people across the globe.  Her eloquent way of expressing herself in such honest, open terms allowed people from all walks of life to identify with and rally around her.  An army of warriors championing her to defeat the disease that threatened everything she held dear.

Because of her open honest accounts of her cancer treatments, she has thrust Inflammatory Breast Cancer in to the lime light, and demanded more funds, more focus, and more research to be done.  She is a one (wo)man army that is unstoppable.  Because of Susan, women are learning that there is a breast cancer that is lethal and vicious, and comes without any lump.

Because of Susan and her blog and tireless efforts and unfathomable grace, I took notice of an irregularity in my own right breast, and with a lump the size of a golf ball in my throat, trotted off immediately to a doctor who didn’t know what IBC was, but because of my insistence, they performed a biopsy (2, actually as they botched the first).  Thankfully, it came back normal.  We don’t know what caused the discoloration in appearance, but it is now gone with nothing to remind me but an angry-looking scar.

My story had a happy ending, but it could have been different.  And had it not been for Susan and her honesty, I wouldn’t have paid it any attention.  Explaining it away as a bug bite, or reaction, or bruise, or anything other than the scary big C.  I know countless others have also yielded her advice, and I implore you all to do the same.  Know your body. Be educated and don’t take no for an answer.

To give you an indication of the impact this woman has had on virtual strangers, I point you to the @whymommy love fest. That is only part 1.  Part 2 and 3 are floating on the interweb somewhere, and I believe the submissions keep pouring in.  You can visit the @whymommy love fest on facebook, as well.

Her reach and her impact, her dash has been lived in such a way that is a shining example to everyone.  She is every inch, every ounce nothing short of exceptional.

I don’t know what the future holds for Susan, as here is an excerpt from her most recent blog post

“A conversation with my husband, shortly after arriving home this afternoon with fresh oxygen tanks, spots on my liver, fluid pushing around my lungs (likely filled with cancer, as are the tumors inside) and at least one broken vertebra that must be healed before we resume any kind of treatment. –

How did we get here? I asked my love, across the bed strewn with children’s toys, books, and an oxygen tank.”

But I do know that the future of women’s cancer is more optimistic because of her, the path for women in planetary science blazes because of her and the ripples from the stones she has cast will outreach, and out last all of us.

Susan, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting us into your life. Whatever is in your future, I wish you peace and grace.

For more information on Inflammatory Breast Cancer please visit some of the following links:

Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Canadian Cancer Society – Symptoms

Willow Breast Cancer Support

Breast Cancer Society of Canada

Discussion Boards (If you are looking for support)

If you’re a mother with cancer, you are not alone, visit this tremendous group of women just like you.  You are not alone

Mothers with Cancer

Please, share this information with your mother, sisters, aunts, neighbours, coworkers, friends, nieces and any woman you may know.  IBC is not detected by mammogram, and it is unknown to many, many women.

Curried Carrot Soup

Another easy, have most ingredients on hand recipe.  Great for clean eating, and can be vegan depending on the type of broth you use.

The flavours are amazing together, and it makes a great launching point to add chicken or other veggies for a more hearty meal.

Ingredients:

1 3/4 c. broth (chicken or veg)

3 carrots, peeled and chopped small

1 onion, chopped (time and tear saver – M&M meats sells frozen diced onion.  A staple in my home!)

1.5 tsp curry powder (I use medium)

1 tsp fresh minced ginger (can use ginger powder in a pinch)

1 can of coconut milk

Directions:

Simmer carrots, onions, ginger and curry in broth until soft (option – can sautée vegetables in butter or oil first).  Cool slightly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Puree in blender or food processor.  May need to puree in batches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Return to stock pot and add coconut milk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Season with sea salt and pepper.  Can also add a pinch of sugar if desired.

 

Enjoy!

Salt and Pepper shrimp with Jalapeno Coleslaw

This is one of my favorite clean eating recipes.  It’s filling and prepared in a snap!

Ingredients:
1/2 c. light coconut milk
1/4 c. roasted unsalted peanuts (I used habenero chili and lime peanuts)
Zest and juice of 2 limes, divided – (need only the zest and juice of one if you buy cooked shrimp, which I did)
1/2 c. loosely packed whole cilantro leaves
1/2 tsp sea salt, divided
1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper, divided
1 large jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
1 small head of cabbage (any type) about 1 lbs, halved lengthwise and sliced into 1/4″ ribbons
1 large red bell pepper, thinly sliced lengthwise
1 large carrot, peeled into ribbons
1 lbs shrimp, peeled & deveined
1 tsp olive oil (only if using raw shrimp)

1 avocado (optional – but recommended)

Prepare vinagrette: In a blender, combine coconut milk, peanuts, zest and juice of 1 lime, cilantro, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp black pepper. Blend until peanuts and cialntro are finely chopped. Set aside.

Prepare slaw: In a large bowl, toss jalapeno, cabbage, pepper and carrot. Set aside.

(If you’re going to use uncooked shrimp) In a med. bowl, add shrimp and sprinkle with remaining 1/4 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Add oil and mix to coat. in a large saute pan on medium high heat, cook shrimp, tossing often, until cooked through. Add 2 tbsp water to pan and scrape any browned bits off the bottom. Once water evaporates almost completely, remove from heat. Add zest and juice of remaining lime to shrimp and toss to coat.

If using cooked shrimp, toss with zest, salt and pepper and lime juice – or, if you’re going to cut up avocado, just toss shrimp with zest, salt and pepper.

Pour vinaigrette over slaw, and dish out in 4 portions. Top each plate with approx 6 shrimp (1/4 lbs), and arrange avocado slices. Drizzle with remaining lime juice.

Good enough by definition, really isn’t

“…My child, beware of “good enough,”
It isn’t made of sterling stuff;
It’s something anyone can do,
It marks the many from the few…”

I’m finding myself incredibly and immeasurably disheartened with the state of our public education system, and the lack of importance they appear to be putting on, well, education.

I don’t quite know when the shift happened, but somewhere along the line we’ve lost site of what we need to be teaching our children.  Our future.

The importance we once placed on excelling, and challenging ourselves has long since disappeared.  Extracurricular activities that focus on enhancing their education and stimulating their brains have all but disappeared – at least they have in our division.

I’ve been researching science fairs recently, as my daughter adores science, and is always thirsting for more knowledge and information.  I found absolutely nothing within our home school, or division and went on a broader search which netted great rewards.  Thankfully, I’ve stumbled across the Manitoba Schools Science Symposium which hosts a fair the final week of April at the University of Manitoba and is open to all students from grades 4 to 12.

If this symposium is open to all students, why am I not receiving a correspondence through my school informing me of this potential? We don’t hold a school wide fair, there are no spelling bees, we’ve done away with percentages on report cards as it is not a ‘adequate way to determine how a child is excelling in class’.

In trying to fill out the student information form, I find our school isn’t even listed in the drop down menu. There are dozens of schools from our division listed, but not ours.  Why are we not encouraging these young minds to think, and explore and risk failure? Why is the status quo just good enough? Are we afraid of hurting their feelings?  Life is a competition, whether we like it or not.

These kids need to realize that they are competing with their classmates and peers for scholarships, class availability and jobs, and they need to find what it is that will set them apart from the pack.  Settling on good enough will not set them apart and just getting by is not an acceptable standard to be setting.  The bar is so low, we keep walking into it.

This September, during meet the teacher night, my first inquiry was around the expectations of homework that teacher would be setting.  We were informed that due to the high enrollment of extra curricular activities most children engage in, she doesn’t hand out homework so it doesn’t interfere.  Interfere.

Since when is homework interference in our life? It’s enriching their minds, shaping their future and ensuring they have a handle on the necessary curriculum, and it certainly is not to be viewed as a hinderance to our social lives.  If our educators place no importance on doing well, and see no value in repetition and growth, where are we headed?  When the school decides that testing the students places too much of a strain on them, what are we gaining?  ‘In order to do what others can’t, you need to be willing to do what others wont’.

When kids are complaining of boredom in the class, are expressing a desire to be challenged it is the responsibility of us as parents to champion them, approaching our educators and maybe reminding them why they got into teaching to begin with.

When teachers and students alike are using their phones for personal use during class, we have slipped too far down a slope of mediocrity, and it’s time we clawed our way back up.

When you can see the desire to learn, the excitement and the spark slowly leave the eyes of your child  and her classmates as they settle into the doldrums of coasting, it’s soul crushing.  We are watching the potential of our future drain in a defeated sigh that sounds a lot like ‘good enough’.

Goals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m 32.  I’ve got a number of goals laid out ahead of me.  Some short term and others are so far down the road that I can’t see the obstacles that litter my path, I just know where I want to end up.

I’ve decided to lay them out here for the following reasons:

1. Accountability.  There is nothing that holds your feet to the fire quite like announcing to the world that you are going to do something.
2. Networking.  You never know who is reading what and when, and I may just stumble across someone who can make these goals more attainable.
3. I want to know what your goals are.  So I’m showing you mine, now you show me yours.
4. Record keeping.  Presumably, I can one day look back at this and see what I’ve accomplished since the time of this post, and maybe give pause and consider what in the hell am I thinking?

So here they are, in an attempt at keeping them ordered chronologically:

1. Run 7K (That’s tonight, legs and lungs willing)
2. Run a 1/2 marathon – June 17th, 2012
3. Participate in at least 5 of these this year. (runs hosted by MRA)
4. Build a library in my home.  An impressive one.  Wing back chairs and Mahogany wood, and books of all shapes, sizes, ages and content.  Books are music for the eyes.
5. I’d like to be mortgage free by November 22nd, 2019 (my 40th birthday)
6. Charitable fundraising.  I’ve given this one some thought.  I was thinking I’d like to raise $1,000,000 by my 40th but I believe that’s a stretch, even for me.  I fully believe in go big or go home but considering I still work full time I’d like to raise $500,000 by then.  Obviously, my charity of choice would be Pancreatic Cancer Research.  To date, I’ve raised just over $100,000 for various groups and charities.  $400,000 to go!  (Here’s where the networking comes into play, anyone?)
7. Retirement.  I’ve been working full time since April of 1997 (Just a wee 17 years old) meaning I’ve been in the work force for nearly 15 years.  I want to be retired by 2029.  Lord, that seems so far away.  By then, my daughter will be 30 (say WHAT? – Can’t wait to see what she becomes.  Amazing, to be sure) I’ll be young enough to travel and enjoy the time I have left.  This is non-negotiable. (Ok, maybe 2034 – but that’s it).  By the time 2029 rolls around, I will have been in the work force for 32 years.  How old I am right now.  I can’ even fathom it.
8. $1,000,000 Piggy banking on goal #6, I figure 18 years is plenty of time to raise $1,000,000.  Let’s do this together.

So in a nutshell, I want to be a better, fitter and debt free.  I love my life as it is, and all the people who enrich it.  It’s hard to imagine improving on that, but I definitely can improve on me.

Well, they are out there.  Now to git ‘er done.

What goals do you set?  How do you remain accountable?

Peanuts and shrimp and allergies, oh my!

Peanuts. Tree Nuts. Walnuts. Coconut. Seafood. Fish. Shrimp. Eggs.

What do these all have in common?  They’ve all been suggestively banned from H’s school.

I have a number of issues with this. Right off the hop though, I will admit that I support the ban on nuts.  I understand how serious of an allergy this can be, how the oils are easily transferred and how deadly the reaction can be.

I do take issue though with the rest.  Specifically egg and fish. Firstly, tuna and eggs are a cost-effective source of lean protein, easily prepared and procured. Our school has a high demographic of low-income families, and the more bans put in place, the more we strip them of healthy options for their children.

Yes. I realise I am arguing convenience against potential health risks.  However, banning is not the answer.  Education is.  

If a child in 2A has a serious egg allergy, then perhaps the students and families of 2A need to learn a little about this allergy, and then perhaps 2A has a ban.  But if no allergies are present in 2C or 3F then why should the ban be in effect there?

It’s unenforceable across the school, and the division does state that the onus is on the parent to ensure their child knows not to eat food not prepared by their parents.

Do we need to acknowledge and respect the severity of the allergy?  Of course.  We also have to know that children are capable of more than we give them credit for.  They know they have an allergy. They know to ask and to be careful.  And if they are in a classroom which is educated and monitored they will fare much better than a loosey goosey rule with a disclaimer attached.

When these kids hit any outside venue, from professional sporting events, to public transportation, to movie theatres, friends houses, malls and more they are potentially going to be exposed. Educating them is going to help them.  Assuming that the rest of the world is going to just stop using products is naive and unacceptable.

That being said, there are also children with gluten and milk allergies, should those items be banned as well?

What about asthmatics? Should gym class be cancelled because they may have an issue, and it’s unfair to let them watch their friends have fun?

The world is a harsh existence, and we are doing our future generations no favours.  The banning of potential allergens is just one avenue.  The lack of personal responsibility and motivation is yet another.

My daughter’s class will not be given homework.  The teacher’s reasonings is that children are so busy with extra curricular activities, it’s unfair to burden them with homework. 

Burden them.

I want my child to be pushed.  To learn. I want her to be taught how to properly study, and how to apply those skills. I want the school to give out assignments that require time management skills.

I want my child to fail if she does poorly.  I don’t want to curriculum re-written to suit her needs. That doesn’t benefit everyone.  When our kids hit the job force and they are unable to do the tasks required of them, their boss is not going to adjust their job description, they’re going to replace them with someone who is capable.

I want my kid to have to work hard to succeed and run the risk of failing along the way. The only thing failing her is our education system.  She is in grade 7 and I have yet to see a benefit to public schooling her versus home schooling aside from the socialization aspect.

Grading by percentages are going by the wayside, and everyone is being coddled and wrapped in chiffon and being sent out to be devoured in the real world.

The expectation seems to be that someone else will take care of it. I get the ‘it takes a village’ mentality, but it also takes personal responsibility and ownership.

The best way to ensure you will be secure, safe and successful is to take it upon yourself.  Do what is best for you, know the situation you are getting into and work for what you want.

I know this started with allergens, but the expectation that everyone else will make sure the environment is safe is ludicrous.  You should be able to rely on your neighbour to help you, but education is where it will be key.

Back to the allergies, I believe the best way to combat it is to inform the parents of the students in class with a child of the severity and to request they refrain from sending food with X ingredients. And then enforce it.  I think a blanket banning is asking for trouble.

I also believe the best way to ensure our children succeed is to find out what motivates them, give them encouragement, and let them fail from time to time.

Please, for the sake of future generations, let’s make them work for it.

Who can? You can, for PanCan

We are 2 weeks away from the start of November, which is also the start of Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month and the official launch of our Pennies for PanCan campaign. (You’re invited, fire us an email at pancanmb@gmail.com for more details)

I have been actively advocating on behalf of Pancreatic Cancer since March of 2010, with a real official, concentrated effort beginning on June 10th, 2010.  It is not an easy road, or a rewarding one.  It is full of road blocks, head aches and heart breaks.  It has been 83 weeks of constant needling, negotiating, door knocking, phone calling, noise making, prodding, pumping, begging, crying, trying, failing and some successes.

We knew going into this, that it was an uphill battle; that we had our work cut out for us.  That’s OK.  I’m not afraid of, nor do I back down from a challenge.  I enjoy it; relish and revel in it.  However being able to see a finish line, or to mark notable accomplishments down goes a long way to team building, to maintaining enthusiasm and passion, and it’s hard.

With Pancreatic Cancer, you lose people.  Most of them.  Quickly, too.  They go from robustly healthy to gone in a matter of weeks sometimes. I have never witnessed anything quite so mind numbingly devastating than the way this disease takes over a body, and rips apart families.

Pancreatic Cancer is responsible for 5% of all cancer related deaths.  We lose close to 4000 Canadians every year to this disease and yet it continues to be grossly underfunded (less than 1% of all funding) and overall ignored by businesses and corporations, researchers, foundations, advertising and awareness campaigns.

Very recently, the world lost a visionary. Steve Jobs slipped away, Pancreatic Cancer being responsible for his death. For a few days, this disease was mentioned everywhere, and then nothing.  Do we as a society have the attention span of a gnat? What will it take to goad us into action?

Is it the knowledge that Pancreatic Cancer can grow silently and undetected in our bodies for up to 20 years?  That we currently have no early detection methods, and few treatment options?

Is it knowing that 94% of those diagnosed will die from the disease before the 5 year mark?  75% of them within the first 6 months?

Is it knowing that statistics surrounding this disease have made no marked improvement over the last 40 years?

Is it knowing that it is indiscriminate in who it attacks? Young, old, man or woman?

We’ve thought long and hard about how to come up with a clever marketing gimmick.  Something that grabs your attention.  Something quick and simple and perfect.

This is what the pancreas looks like:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The simple truth is, there is no clever marketing, or feel good rally that you can hold.  We don’t have the ability to make it marketable.  There are no bras for a cause opportunities, or team ta ta chants.  You can’t grow a mustache in it’s support, or run a pants on the ground campaign. We don’t have the loud voice of survivors pushing for more funding, because the sad reality is, this disease leaves very few standing to pick up the fight.

It’s all up in your guts, and the truth of it is, it’s ugly, it’s deadly, and it’s ignored.

With November approaching, we are running a month long Pennies for PanCan campaign.  We encourage you to get involved, challenge your co-workers, your neighbours, your team mates. Help make change.  Make a difference.

We are building our TeamPurple, running a half marathon with a world record breaking attempt.  We are going to make a difference, but we need your help, and cannot continue going it alone.

For more information on The FMN Pancreatic Cancer Network, check it out here.

This started out as a 2 person vision, but we need a strong network to see it through.  I’d love to hear your feedback, and what motivates you to get behind a cause.

 

Thanks

Judge temporarily loses mind, and the world spins backwards

In April 2008, Joan Henderson (then 54) guzzled back 6 rum & cokes, did some recreational gambling in the Garden City Smitty’s lounge, and proceeded to slam into Michael Pacheco who was part of a large street-cleaning crew near Kildonan Golf Course and was in the process of picking up some road signs when Henderson’s Dodge Neon slammed into his legs, crushing them between his own vehicle.

Today, her sentence has been passed down.  A delusional Justice Brenda Keyser agrees that what happened that night was tragic and had horrible consequences for all involved, however decided that this is one of those exceptional cases where jail is not warranted.  2 year suspended sentence, no jail.

You see, Joan Henderson was taking what is now being called a controversial medication.   Mirapex, which apparently caused the normally quiet, and soft-spoken coffee drinking, suburban angel to drink “involuntarily”, gamble wildly and act like a group of bachelors at an out of control stag in Vegas.

You see, her blood alcohol level was 0.20

But that doesn’t matter.  Through her slurs and sobs the night of the accident, she was sorry. 

Let’s not take in to account the agonizing yells of Michael Pacheco, the terror his wife must have felt upon receiving the phone call, or the trauma inflicted upon their young daughter as she wondered if Daddy was going to come home.

Joan is sorry.  This just was so out of character for her.  She didn’t mean to do it.

She relives the horror every night, readers.  Every.night.  So let’s take it easy on this poor, upstanding citizen.  Let’s once again allow and enable our fellow members of society to act erratically, irresponsibly and illegally.  Let’s again put a bandaid on a gaping shot-gun wound in hopes that no one addresses the real problem.

I want to go back and revisit the comment “involuntarily” drink.  Really?  Did those meds  strap your shoes to your feet,  insert the keys into the ignition, march your ass into the lounge, take control of your vocal chords, order not 1, not 2, not 3,4, or 5 but six rum and cokes (remember, Joan is a non-drinker) and then once again slap you back into your car, fire it to life and then plow into a real upstanding citizen who was mowed down while working.

Fuck you, Joan Henderson and give your head a shake Justice Brenda Keyser.  What in the hell were you thinking?

And what are your thoughts?

A Merry XEXmas!

http://tinyurl.com/3xo6xag (in case you decide to bail before getting to the end of my love fest blog show)

For those of you lurking about on my twitter account (@MsBehavior if you’re so inclined) or a friend on facebook, you’ll have noticed my recent push of a Winnipeg band.

X-Engine-X (@XEngineX on twitter, find them on facebook or on the web www.xenginex.com) has been around now for the better part of 10 years.  Their main players have all been devoted to the music scene in Winnipeg for count ‘em, 4 decades!  (Late 80′s, 90′s 2000′s, and now the 2010′s).

I wanted you all to see the more personal face of XEX, and understand why it’s so important to me to see these guys get the opportunity to shine at Power97′s Powerball.

First introduction is to Paul Skelly.  Lead Vocals.  

Try as I might, I can’t call him Paul.  You can, but I call him Skelly.

Next up.  Matt the Monster on Bass. 

Intense stage presence, intimidating skills.  All around nice guy & phenomenal chef.

Lead Guitar:  Mr. Myke Kurnell:

Making the guitar sing like it’s nobody’s business, Myke has big time talent on a small town stage.  He is also one of the kindest people I’ve ever met in my life.

Jerry.  Oh Jerry.  He’s a drummer.  What else can I say?

That’s me with Jerry.  Since A) it’s my blog and B) since his kit is in the back it’s often hard to snag a decent picture.  Here we are at the merch booth at a CD release party held at the Park theatre.

Jerry is undoubtedly one of the greatest friends someone could ask to have.  He would give you the shirt off his back without asking why.

Each of these 4 guys have been in my home, celebrated my child’s birthday, drank with me, laughed with me and in some way, shape or form enriched my life.

When the house was being renovated, it was these 4 guys who showed up to rip out my old carpeting.  When Myke got water in his basement, it was the other 3 who showed up to bail him out.

While I want to see them on the Powerball bill because I do think they’ve got the chops for it, I also want to see them succeed because they are like my extended family.

In March, I put together a team for CancerCare Manitoba’s Challenge for Life.  One of the fund-raising events we held was Rock The Walk. 

X-Engine-X volunteered their time and man hours to ensure our event went off without a hitch, and helped us to raise close to 16,000 by the time the date of the walk came around. 

Found a stage shot of Jerry!

X-Engine-X has opened for Godsmack at the Convention Centre, played the main stage at Shakin’ the Lake and rocked out at X-Fest.  They’ve played the Pyramid, The Zoo, The Park, The Central, and the Convention Centre.  What they need now is to cap it off with a performance at the MTS Centre.

You can help make that happen.  All I ask is for you to follow this link: http://tinyurl.com/3xo6xag, sign your name and encourage those you know to do the same.

Thank you so much, and Merry XEXmas!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=XEngineX&aq=f

Rudolph the Winnipegger

Rudolph the Winnipegger

Had a driveway full of snow

And instead of shovelling

He would just go out and blow

 

All of his lazy neighbours

Let their snow pile up outside

They would let poor Rudolph

Blow out all their walks and drives

 

Then one blustery winter night

Rudolph lost his mind

Shot his neighbours one by one

With his new submachine gun

 

So his remaining neighbours

As they shouted out in fear

They would all get together

And buy a snow machine next year

 

  Let that be a lesson to y’all.